Do you find yourself scared in uncertain situations? Do you fear making decisions related to your business or your personal life, especially in cases of new opportunities that could potentially help your growth and success? You’re not alone. Fear can affect many aspects of our lives, but with better understanding, we can overcome fear and live happier lives.
What is Fear?
There are a variety of fears with which people suffer. The degree of intensity of fear varies from person to person and situation to situation. The most common types of fear can be clubbed together into groups for better understanding of their similarities.
- Quitting a job or a relationship
- Being abused or bullied
- Meeting an accident and being injured
- Failing an exam, or losing a battle, or losing in a new venture
- Being duped or conned by someone known or unknown to us
- Being attacked by humans, insects or animals
- Fearing one’s own death or losing someone close to us
When we look closely at these fears, we find that in all cases, there is a sense of helplessness or an anticipation of being the victim when faced with an uncertain situation. In uncertainty, the person experiencing fear may have some idea about the outcome/s of the expected activities, but essentially does not know all that can potentially happen in these situations.
Where Does Fear Come From?
But how does that uncertainty lead to fear? People fear uncertainty because deep within their sub-conscious minds they have been constantly fed by their environment that they are helpless. Some examples:
- When parents tell toddlers not to walk out of the room/door or when they tell their children to stay away from the stove or electric outlets, they are instilling fear in minds of these children.
- When teachers tell students to stay away from strangers (without sound reasoning or by sharing horror stories), they are injecting fear in the students.
- When friends, relatives (and even neighbors) tell youngsters to stay away from politics at school or college, they are building a sense of fear in these young minds.
- Media contributes to this feeling through propagation of victim stories in magazines, serials, movies or news. Thriller and horror novels similarly add to the sense of fear.
In each of these examples, the sub-conscious mind gets the message, “I am incapable of handling this.” This means that they are (often unintentionally) repeatedly made to believe that when the unexpected happens, they will succumb to the negative outcomes. Children thus grow up conditioned to fear a whole variety of things.
In most cases, however, the fear is not real. It is only in the minds of the person expressing it. Knowing that fear is not real, but a conditioning given to us, becomes very helpful in overcoming it.
How Can We Overcome Fear?
How, then, can people overcome their fears? The first step, as mentioned earlier, is to clearly understand that fear is not real. One popular saying among life coaches is that FEAR stands for False Evidence Appearing Real.
This understanding itself gives immense relief to people when they find themselves in uncertain situations. They just need to ask themselves, “Is this fear that I am experiencing building up inside me right now, based on facts or is this just a false alarm?” In reality, most people transmit their fears to others without themselves experiencing the negative outcomes. This means that in most cases, the evidence is contrary to their communication and the feelings.
The second step is to acknowledge that fear will always remain, whenever there is uncertainty. It is the degree of fear that matters, and this needs to be assessed and reduced.
The third step is to believe at the core of the heart or the sub-conscious mind: “I can handle it.” When someone repeatedly tells himself or herself that they can handle any situation, their self-confidence increases and fear reduces. With the new understanding that fear is not real and that one can handle any situation, the initial fears change to:
- If I quit a job or a relationship, I can handle it.
- If I am being abused or bullied, I can handle it.
- If I meet an accident and I am injured, I can handle it.
- If I fail an exam, or lose a battle or lose in a new venture, I can handle it.
- If I am duped or conned by someone known or unknown to me, I can handle it.
- If I am attacked by humans, insects or animals, I can handle it.
- If I losing someone close to me, I can handle it.
When people learn to tell themselves “I can handle it,” they are able to face any fear and move ahead in life.
Taking Action is the Key
The last step is to take action. One should not just sit there feeling victim of situations or believing alone that he or she can handle any situation; the key is to take action in the direction of one of the forward-looking choices or options available.
Having a Life Transformation Coach supporting this process is highly beneficial. An expert life coach can facilitate this journey of people, help them get clarity on their situation and options, help them embed in their sub-conscious mind that they can handle any situation, remove any past evidence (memories of traumatic experiences) for their unconscious minds to significantly boost their confidence and orient them to take action to move ahead in life.