Mother and baby share a common bond with each other from the moment of conception. After birth, and as your child grows older, that connection becomes stronger. There are many physical and emotional benefits of fostering a connection between mother and infant and ties that can create a binding relationship with your baby from day one of your child’s birth.
Bonding at Birth
Nature engineers bonding between mother and baby from the moment your infant exits the womb, however, there is already an established attraction the baby feels towards you in utero from the sound of your voice. When your child is finally placed into your arms, the bond rises to an even higher level as the newborn gets acquainted with you, snuggles closer, hears your heartbeat and gets used to your smell.
Stronger Bonds, Stronger Immunities
Not only does breast feeding your baby deliver essential nutrients and antibodies, it is a great way to bond for mother and baby. As you breastfeed, your child can look deep into your eyes and feel the strong affection you hold for him or her. With each feed time, baby comes to understand stability and what getting their needs met means. Allowing your babe-in-arms to have skin-to-skin contact with you will develop a stronger bond in mom and child through hormones naturally released like oxytocin.
Spending Special Time
Babies love massages and songs sung by mom — sometimes it seems as if they can’t get enough. As you massage your infant’s little arms and legs with a gentle touch, smile, talk to your baby and laugh together. Baby will begin to look forward to his or her daily massage and this special time spent together.
Time to Giggle
Never miss an opportunity to play with your little one as this is a great way to build a strong connection. Playtime should take place between feed time and sleep. Even if you are a working mom, finding the time to play with your baby is essential, however, try not to play just one game, but maybe two or three per day (even if short). Playing with your child exercises their senses, facilitates brain neuron building and reinforces the caregiver/child connection. Play also promotes those adorable rolling giggles and huge smiles that we all love.
Hush Little Baby…
If your baby starts crying, it’s a pretty good sign that he or she needs attention — whether it’s a wet diaper, hunger, sleepiness or mom’s reinforcement required in the form of caring and love. From the first sign of crying, hold your baby in your arms and gently hush him or her while rocking back and forth or walking around the room and even outside (applying the patented caregiver “baby bounce”). This will let your child know that his or her happiness and comfort is important. Making the mistake of leaving your baby crying for long periods without attention will convey to baby that their needs are meaningless and the world is not safe.
Your Words Matter
Baby might not be a mature person but believe it or not, he or she is learning to catch on to your words every time you talk to them directly by watching your face, listening to the tone of your voice and hearing words being paired with objects, circumstances and emotions. Each day after waking up, talk to your child as much as possible. At times you will get reactions from your baby in the forms of cooing, giggling and baby-talk back to you. Even though you may not understand baby-talk, still nod your head and pretend you understand every word your infant is telling you. Talking to your baby from an early age is a great way to connect and it opens the door for future conversations with your little bundle of joy.
Have a Support System in Place
It’s much easier to bond with your baby when you have the right support. Those close to you such as your partner, siblings, friends and baby’s grandparents can help you to adjust to motherhood after the birth of your child. In fact, medical experts often encourage you and your baby to remain in the same room after birth which facilitates assistance and encouragement from hospital staff members. Additionally, a newborn baby can take up much of your day and night, leaving you no time to do the laundry, clean the house or walk the dog as well as carry out other functions that also might be a bit strenuous for you to handle. Getting the support you need to help you adjust can go a long way for your own self-care and also give you the opportunity to build stronger relationships with members of your support team.
Things That can Affect the Bonding Process
There are a number of factors, that you may be unaware of, to take into account which can affect the bonding process between mother and infant. In most cases, before a child is born, moms have a preconceived image of what the baby might look like. However, if a child is born with a brain defect, blindness, paralysis or rare disease, this preconceived image can shatter when you take the first look at your baby and causing unexpected additional stress and worry.
Incoming hormones can be another hindrance to effective bonding. During the early stages of nursing your infant in the hospital, your body must adjust to changes including the release of the hormone prolactin, which produces breast milk. When beginning breastfeeding, many mothers worry that their child isn’t getting enough nutrients as they wait for their milk to come in or for the baby to learn how to latch onto the breast and develop effective suckling reflexes. The release of prolactin, however, is also associated with the quicker weight loss of mom’s “baby fat” and also works as a natural form of contraception (although not 100% full proof).
When a baby is born prematurely, the newborn is placed into an incubator creating a quiet womb-like environment and providing easy access for immediate nursing care. Depending upon how premature your child is and how fast your child develops, he or she will remain in the incubator until medical staff are confident that your baby is developed enough to thrive on its own at home. While in an incubator, holding, carrying and feeding baby may be challenging but you can still bond with your child. For instance, by staying close by you can watch baby, use the side portholes to touch and hold baby’s hand or talk to your baby, which will help him or her get to know your voice.
Mothers experiencing afterbirth pain due to a cesarean section or episiotomy among other things can find it difficult to physically do the activities that help bond with baby. If you are having serious pain issues, hospital staff are available to care for your baby until you can take over. A common problem that often surfaces after a mother has given birth is cramping pain. This is because of ongoing involuntary contractions that can happen in the uterus just after giving birth firstly, to expel the placenta but afterwards to aid in healing and shrinking the uterus. Some other factors that contribute to after birth pain and complications are blood clots, infections, postpartum hemorrhage and postpartum depression. Warning signs that you may experience are headaches, difficulty breathing and chest pain in addition to other painful attacks in your body. If you think that you are experiencing any of the health issues mentioned, let the medical staff know immediately.
Dads Need to Bond Too
Just because dad isn’t the one giving birth or breast feeding, closeness between a father and his newborn infant is of incredible importance. There are many ways for dads to bond with their newborn including making eye contact with the infant as soon as the child exits the womb. Spend quality time with your child after the first few hours of birth and connect by touching, singing a nursery rhyme while holding baby in your arms, bathing, changing diapers and helping with feeding whether that is helping create quiet time for mom to breast feed or bottle feeding to allow mom some extra sleep. Try reading a story and putting baby to sleep on your shoulder. Like moms, dads too, are special and bonding with baby soon after birth and the ensuing months to come as baby grows will make father and child time a gratifying experience for both.
As a loving mom, connecting with your baby from birth is one of the most rewarding parts of motherhood and is the foundation of the bond you share with your children throughout their lives.