Richard & Kathy Verlander on family life, baseball and values that breed success
It was a familiar father and son trip to Deep Run Park in Richmond, Va.
Richard stood facing the pond with his young son, Justin. He challenged his little ballplayer to a throwing contest. Richard tossed his rock. It hit over halfway across the pond. It was Justin’s turn. He heaved his stone. There was no splash and no ripple. His rock landed in the tree line across the water. Richard knew he had someone special.
Two decades and another child later, Richard and Kathy Verlander are still baseball parents. The kid who tossed the rock across the pond is now blowing 98-mile-per-hour fastballs across a plate as a member of Major League Baseball’s Detroit Tigers. The younger son, Ben, was a standout member of the Old Dominion Monarchs baseball team this season. The Verlanders, from rural Goochland County, just outside Richmond, Va., now tour and speak to youth groups, churches and families about baseball, life and family values.
Q. You coached a few of Justin’s teams. Did you play baseball growing up?
Richard: I did not play baseball growing up and there are really no organized sports in either of our backgrounds. Kathy did play tennis in high school and swam. We really were not prepared for having a young baseball player. Justin tried out for little league and came home and announced that he wanted to be a pitcher. So he and I went to the library and got a book about pitching. If there were such a thing as “How to Pitch for Dummies,” this would have been it.
Q. What was family life like at the Verlander home?
Kathy: I think it was the same as anybody else. We had times when they could play… and schoolwork came first for our kids, so they understood that if you did school work and made good grades then you could participate after school with the other kids.
Q. What sort of values did you instill in the boys?
Richard: I think the values for us are discipline and control. Not so much in baseball, but in terms of life. Just providing structure and trying to set a good example for the kids. We think that you teach your kids a lot more by what you say and the things you do a lot more than preaching or trying to instill values that you’re not good at yourself. We’ve been very blessed and we hope some of those attributes have showed up in the boys. We think they did.
Q. What is the definition of success in the Verlander Family?
Kathy: Being successful to us certainly doesn’t mean making a lot of money. For us, it means being good people, doing unto others as you would have them do unto you, give back to your community, have fun, be happy. I think money is secondary to the other things that we hold true.
Richard: We think that to those whom much is given much is expected. All the awards and all of the trappings of being a big star are nice, but at the end of the day it’s what you do with it and how you share that success with others. So when we talk to youngsters, we talk about success as it relates to following your passion, following your dreams and doing something you love. There are very gifted folks in the world, not just athletes—doctors, folks who work with their hands, teachers and educators. We are very big promoters of teachers and people who play a hand in raising our kids.
Q. Speaking of educators, you mentioned Justin’s second grade teacher in your book. Can you share about that experience?
Kathy: When he was young, Justin struggled in school a little bit. He had a lot of energy and had trouble sitting still. He was one of those kids who didn’t raise his hand and just blurted out. His second grade teacher, Marian Kramer, helped him and helped us teach him how to focus. She said that sometimes you learn differently than others. He had several coaches who helped him to focus as well. After Ms. Kramer he went on to like school a lot better.
Richard: She helped him to feel better about himself and have confidence in himself.
Q. You mentioned coaches. How did coach Bob Smith’s confidence in Justin change him?
Richard: So Bob Smith was another one of these individuals that impacted our lives and our boys lives in such a special way. Justin was in a national tournament and he was 15 years old. He already had a reputation as being a guy with a good arm, but he didn’t have a lot of control—he didn’t know where the baseball was going necessarily, took a long time to warm up. Not a guy you would put in in a closing situation at the end of the game without a lot of margin for error. Bob Smith called on Justin in a crucial game to come in. You could hear all of the parents chirping, “What are they putting Justin in for?,” “What are they doing?,” “What are they thinking?” So Justin got the opportunity and won the game—shut down the other side. Later on we went back and asked him, “Bob, what were you thinking putting Justin into that situation?” and he said, “Well, I knew Justin could do it and I wanted to put him a situation where he had to focus, where he had no margin for error.” And now because of that, he has a reputation as a guy who finds another gear when the game is on the line or there are guys on base. We think about the Bob Smiths and the Marian Kramers of the world who were so big in developing that demeanor.
Q. When did you realize that Justin was more than just another kid who played pitcher?
Kathy: All throughout his life he was a little more coordinated [than other kids]. Through his teenage years he was good, but not great. You would never think, “Oh, here comes the next Cy Young Award winner.” We kind of all agreed that it was probably his freshman year of college that there was really something special going on and there was a real possibly that he could get drafted someday.
Richard: Both boys are classic late bloomers. And when we talk to other parents we really like to emphasize that because oftentimes people will give up on themselves way too soon. So we tell kids to not give up.
Q. On that subject, you talk about parents pushing kids. Do you think that happens too much in little league? What is a parent’s role?
Richard: I think you have to keep it fun for the younger kids. We tried to instill that you should be passionate and do what you want to do. Life is too short not to. We always push hard work, going to practice, honoring your commitment if you joined a team; but we never really pushed to the point where we’ve felt like it’s too much. We’ve seen parents and coaches who tried to sort of force feed what we call “adult attributes” on children. “You’ve got to go run 20 laps,” “You have to field 100 ground balls and if you miss one you have to do push ups.” Guess what, Dad? He’s 8-years-old! He cares more about the snack after the game than he does about all of these adult attributes you try to force on him at a young age. Those little league years are great family times for kids and parents. Don’t get too caught up in tomorrow. Enjoy today for what it is.
Q. Now regarding attributes, when Justin was being scouted was it a surprise that character was Major League Baseball’s highest priority?
Richard: Yeah, when the major league scouts started investigating Justin…they came to town and actually talked to our neighbors
and coaches and teachers and we were surpassed to find out that they weren’t talking about baseball. They had already seen the 98-mile-an-hour fastball. They already knew about his command and control and what a good pitcher he was. They wanted to know about the person, the young man. Character counts.
Q. You elected for Justin to go to college as opposed to the Majors out of high school? Why?
Richard: For us, the decision for Justin to go to college to play ball rather than to go professional right out of high school was easy for us because during the major league draft after high school, Justin was undrafted. He probably would have been drafted in the later rounds, but we made it known that unless he went high in the draft he was going to go to school. We sat through two days of major league draft on the sofa, he and I, and after two days his name wasn’t called. So that was just an opportunity that we didn’t recognize as an opportunity at the time. What happened was, Justin was able to go on to school and play immediately, become an All-American, play for Team USA and now when we look back, it was disappointing at the time, but we would advocate with parents and young folks: go to school, get the opportunity to mature—it’s not just a baseball thing—it’s also a question of maturity and the opportunity to mature as a person. And sure enough three years later he was the number-one pick of the Detroit Tigers, so his stock went up quite a bit.
Q. Justin chose Old Dominion University in Norfolk, Va. Why not a large, prominent program?
Kathy: He and Richard went on a tour when he was a junior. They were invited for junior day and Justin just fell in love with it. He loved the atmosphere, he loved the field, he liked the coach. The coach at the time promised us he would take care of Justin and that he would be a Friday night starter as a freshman, which was a big deal and they really wanted him. He was heavily recruited and could have gone to school anywhere. He picked it with his heart. He felt really good about it. Other people questioned our decision—which was Justin’s decision—but we made a lot of decisions with our hearts and it’s turned out good for us.
Q. In 2005, Justin was called up to the Majors. What was that experience like for you?
Richard: Kathy came out into the garage and said that it was Justin’s agent on the phone. He gave us the news that Justin was going to start the second part of a day-night double header. It was the Fourth of July 2005. For us, those moments are really sort of an affirmation. Yeah, you’re bursting with pride, but you know all of the work that went in to it. It’s very rewarding to see your kids reach those plateaus after all of those years of hard work that people don’t see.
Q. Now Ben also plays baseball. Tell us about him.
Kathy: Ben is our younger son. He just turned 21. So there is a nine-year difference between our two boys. He has been on a baseball field since he was in a baby carrier; he always loved baseball and always wanted to play baseball. He’s wanted to follow in his brother’s footsteps. He’s an extremely hard worker and in college now and just finished his junior year. He is at Old Dominion and had a breakout year this year.
Q. How has Justin’s success shaped Ben?
Richard: Ben really embraces the idea that he is Justin’s little brother and it’s not a burden for him. I suppose it could be if Ben wasn’t such a strong individual. He has his own personality and they are very different. He chose to be a ball player. This is Ben’s dream. We didn’t put it on him. Ben is another classic late bloomer. He doesn’t possess the natural electric arm that Justin has per se, but he has worked hard at becoming a great baseball player and his first two years he was a part-time player, but this year he had a breakout season. He’s been Louisville Slugger Player of the Week, a three-time All-Conference player, All-CAA and he’s getting a bit of interest in the draft.
Q. So with a famous boy and an almost famous boy, how has your identity changed?
Kathy: We get a lot of perks, we live a good life and if someone calls us Justin Verlander’s parents instead of Richard and Kathy, well that’s okay.
Richard: We used to be Richard and Kathy until 2004 when Justin was drafted by the Detroit Tigers. Then we became Justin Verlander’s parents. Now we’re Ben Verlander’s parents. But that’s one of the greatest compliments you can pay any parent. Now we’re a baseball mom and dad, but it’s a good thing.
Editor’s Note: On Wednesday, June 12, Ben Verlander, too, was drafted by the Detroit Tigers.
