It All Started with a Bead
May 2009
It is a complete coincidence that one of 10-year-old Hayes Cloninger’s favorite things to do is swim with her cousins off the shores of Bald Head Island in North Carolina, considering that Hayes herself is bald. “She has a ton of reasons why she thinks it is good not to have hair, and she has no interest in wearing a wig,” laughs Hayes’ mother Carolyn. “Although she did ask me if she could wear a Bozo the Clown wig to school once, but I told her she already got enough attention without throwing a bright red wig into the mix.”
The attention Hayes receives is due in part to her joyful and fun-loving approach to life. But it is her strength, perseverance and philanthropic spirit that continually shine a light into the otherwise dark and scary world of cancer.
In early 2005, when Hayes was six years old, doctors discovered a baseball-sized tumor in her brain.
Over the course of the next year, Hayes underwent two brain surgeries, six weeks of radiation treatment and four rounds of chemotherapy at Children’s Hospital of the King’s Daughters (CHKD) in Norfolk, followed by months of recovery. “The day I found out Hayes had a tumor, I quit my job so I could be with her,” says Carolyn, a single mother. She credits her mother Elaine Chismer, who also lives in Williamsburg, with providing both emotional and financial support so she could be by her daughter’s side through the treatment stage. “We are so lucky to have my mother,” Carolyn says, “and she is incredible. She made it so I didn’t have to worry about anything. I was able to spend every night with Hayes, sleeping on the couch in her room at CHKD.”
To help her daughter pass the time during treatments, Carolyn purchased a children’s jewelry-making kit from the hospital gift shop. They made earrings for the nurses and soon added necklaces and friendship bracelets to their repertoire. “At one point, Hayes told me she wanted to sell her jewelry to raise money for the American Cancer Society (ACS),” Carolyn remembers, “and I said, ‘OK, let’s do it.’ ” The pair began buying beads to make jewelry, but when word got out about Hayes’ mission, people began donating beads by the bagful. In the four years since, Hayes has raised $30,000 for the ACS through her jewelry sales; she has collected $4,000 so far this year. Carolyn also began turning Hayes’ drawings into note cards, which they also sell to raise money.
Now a fifth grader at D.J. Montague Elementary School in Williamsburg, Hayes is cancer-free. Although her hair hasn’t grown back since her radiation treatment, Hayes doesn’t mind being bald. She is too busy playing, going to school, making jewelry, drawing and spending time with her family and friends. In the fall of 2008, Carolyn returned to work full-time as a kindergarten teacher at the same school that Hayes attends.
With Mother’s Day being celebrated this month, The Health Journal thought it most appropriate to profile this mother and daughter duo—though their year-old miniature dachshund Sammy let her voice be heard during the interview as well.
HJ: How will you celebrate Mother’s Day?
Carolyn: We will go over to my mom’s house for dinner—it will be very low key. My mom is such a great cook, and she just came up with a new chicken recipe that is fabulous. We clamor for it every night!
HJ: What is your favorite season, and why?
Hayes: Summer, because my birthday is in June, and I also get to go swimming in the pool and with my cousins Andy and Libby at Bald Head Island.
Carolyn: We rent a house and meet up with my twin sister, her husband and their two kids for a week on Bald Head Island. We bring books and trade them off. The kids play and run around. It’s really relaxing. It’s the best place in the world.
HJ: What is your biggest fear?
Hayes: Bees and hornets.
Carolyn: I don’t have any fears anymore. The biggest one already happened when Hayes was diagnosed with cancer.
HJ: Did you ever have moments of sadness when you were fighting cancer, and if so, what got you past those moments?
Hayes: Yes, I had those moments. When they happened, I just tried to be silly and have fun.
Carolyn: At CHKD, they give the kids beads for different treatments, like getting blood drawn or having a spinal tap. A black bead represents a really bad day. They make a gigantic necklace of your journey out of your beads, and Hayes only has two black beads on her necklace. She is just so positive.
HJ: Who influences you the most?
Hayes: My mom.
Carolyn: Hayes.
HJ: What role has Relay For Life played in your lives over the past few years?
Carolyn: I got together a bunch of my friends, and we started a team the first year it started in Williamsburg. Hayes was two or three years old at the time, and I just let her sit in a pile of sand and help fill the luminary [candle] bags. The next year, I was part of another team. The year after that, I helped with parking. I was always fortunate that I never knew anyone who had cancer or was affected by it. But the next year, Hayes was diagnosed. After Hayes got through her cancer treatment, she was a huge fundraiser for Relay and really rallied her whole school. People who were never involved in anything became involved. She’s just so much fun and so happy—she inspires people.
Hayes will be selling her jewelry and note cards May 29-30 during the 2009 Williamsburg Relay For Life at Jamestown High School, 3751 John Tyler Highway. For more information on how you can purchase Hayes’ jewelry or note cards, contact Carolyn at cloninger@cox.net.