Faith Amoroso
Jan 2010
Before her husband’s diagnosis, Faith Amoroso says, her life was practically perfect. Happily married, Amoroso and her husband Larry lived in New Jersey where she worked as a nurse in a surgical practice. Larry was an executive officer for an insurance and investment firm, managing four offices in the New York and New Jersey area.
“He was a brilliant businessman, a Duke University graduate and at the height of his career when he started having symptoms of dementia,” explains Amoroso. Larry was diagnosed with early-onset Alzheimer’s disease in 1998, and the couple spent the next 10 years dealing with the condition, Faith being Larry’s primary caregiver.
After Larry died from Alzheimer’s in December 2008, Amoroso began volunteering as a geriatric assessment nurse at Williamsburg’s Center for Excellence in Aging and Geriatric Health (CEAGH). If an individual had been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease, she would help them locate and navigate various medical and community resources. Three months later, a formal position was created and she was offered the job.
Amoroso’s journey as an Alzheimer’s caregiver was long and difficult, but she has since applied her experience to a larger cause: This year she will take on a new challenge as chair of the Williamsburg Memory Walk, an annual event sponsored by the Alzheimer’s Association to generate funding for community programs as well as raise awareness about this disease. The walk, slated for next November, is expected to draw hundreds of participants. “Last November we had 400 walkers, so the bar has been set high,” she says. In her interview with The Health Journal, Amoroso explains why it’s important to play the hand we’re dealt.
What she gives and gets: I spent a decade of my life as a caregiver for an Alzheimer’s patient. I saw a unique opportunity to share my experience with other families in the community.
Who she helps: At CEAGH, our focus is on older adults. But the face of Alzheimer’s is changing to include the caregivers—which can mean spouses, children and even grandchildren. The support that needs to go out [to caregivers] is really to all ages. This disease affects such a broad part of our population.
Why talk openly about Alzheimer’s? Alzheimer’s is an illness that, in the early years, people tend to keep ‘in the closet.’ I like to tell people that it was when we came out of the closet that life became easier. We could reach out to friends and family and not hide behind closed doors, which I think so many people do.
What she talks about: The conversation is often less about the person who is suffering from dementia and more about the caregivers—their stress and their needs. Anxiety and depression are common factors associated with caregiving. The caregiver becomes very isolated and feels very alone.
I tell people that Alzheimer’s is not an illness that you can plan your life around. You have to live in the moment and meet the affected person at his or her own level, because they can’t meet you at yours.
I think I really accepted the illness and moved forward only when I realized that this was what we had to deal with. There was only one possible ending, and we were going to have the best life that we could. Acceptance was very important.
Her biggest professional challenge: Sometimes it’s a bit emotionally draining. I can see and feel the emotional struggles of families, and I know what they are facing.
Her role models: Most importantly, my mother, who is 90 and has always been and continues to be very positive and optimistic about life. She lives with me now. Beyond her, the people who have been given much in life and, in turn, give back to others who are less fortunate.
What makes her laugh: Lighthearted people who love life. Sometimes I laugh at myself. Sometimes I actually look back and laugh. I like to tell the story about Larry taking the dog for a walk and coming back with just a leash and him wondering what was wrong with that. You have to take those stories and find some humor in them.
What qualities do you value most in others: Honesty and openness, and not being afraid to take chances.
What surprises you about life: How little control we have, how quickly things can change. One of my favorite expressions is, ‘We don’t get to choose what comes into our life.’ Our job is to reach a point of acceptance and find joy in things that matter.
Favorite motto: Yes, it’s from Matthew 17:20: ‘If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, nothing will be impossible for you.